JamiPozcord
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There is a phrase that we have all said at some point: I will never do this!
We say it with conviction, we can even say it with a certain superiority, as if we had just signed a contract with the universe, for example: I will never forgive an infidelity, I will never return to that person, I will never work at something I don't like, I will never live that way, I will never need help, I will never bet so much, I will never become someone like that. But the funny thing is that, many times, we end up doing exactly what we swore we would never do. Not necessarily because we are hypocrites, simply because we don't know the person we will be when the time comes to make that decision, that's where the interesting part begins. We believe that we know our future because we know our present. Our mind has a rather peculiar habit: it uses what we are today to imagine what we will be tomorrow. If I am in love today, I think I will always be. If I'm patient today, I imagine I'll never lose my nerve. If I have money today, I think I can always solve any problem. If I am strong today, I think that no situation will be able to break me. If I have a very clear opinion about something today, it is difficult for me to imagine that one day I could think completely differently.
But the future has no obligation to respect our current version.
The person who says “I will never do that” is speaking from a photograph.
Life, on the other hand, works like a movie, a photograph cannot explain an entire movie. The mind believes that it is the boss of destiny. Perhaps one of our biggest mistakes is thinking that we absolutely decide who we are going to be.
We like to feel like we are in control.
It calms us to think: I know how I would react, That would never happen to me, If I were in your place, I would do this.
But it's very easy to be brave when the problem belongs to someone else.
It is very easy to judge a decision when we do not know the circumstances that produced it. Because there are decisions that, seen from the outside, seem absurd.
Until we have to live them. Then factors appear that we had never considered: fear, need, love, fatigue, responsibility, loneliness, money, children, losses, opportunities, pressure and suddenly what seemed impossible begins to seem understandable. Not necessarily correct but understandable.
The present is not as absolute as we believe, we say “now” as if it were a solid thing. But the present lasts practically nothing. As I finish this sentence, it has already become the past. That means that many of our certainties are built on something that is constantly changing.
Today I am a person, tomorrow I can continue being me, but with an experience that completely changes my way of thinking. That's why I like to think that the present is relative.
Not because the present does not exist, but because its meaning changes when new information appears.
A breakup can seem like the worst moment of our lives and years later become the reason we find another path. An opportunity we turned down may seem insignificant to us until we discover what it would have meant.
A person we do not understand today may become someone tomorrow whose story we finally understand. Time not only changes things, it also changes our interpretation of them.
“I would never” depends on who you are when the time comes, here's the part that makes me think the most.
Maybe we shouldn't say, "I'll never do this," perhaps it would be more honest to say, "With the person I am today, I don't think I would ever do this." It seems like a small difference, but it isn't.
The first sentence tries to control the future, the second recognizes that we do not know it yet, that is much more realistic. Because no one knows how they will react to a situation that they have not yet experienced. We say it looking to the future, but the future still does not know us and we do not know it either.
We say it with conviction, we can even say it with a certain superiority, as if we had just signed a contract with the universe, for example: I will never forgive an infidelity, I will never return to that person, I will never work at something I don't like, I will never live that way, I will never need help, I will never bet so much, I will never become someone like that. But the funny thing is that, many times, we end up doing exactly what we swore we would never do. Not necessarily because we are hypocrites, simply because we don't know the person we will be when the time comes to make that decision, that's where the interesting part begins. We believe that we know our future because we know our present. Our mind has a rather peculiar habit: it uses what we are today to imagine what we will be tomorrow. If I am in love today, I think I will always be. If I'm patient today, I imagine I'll never lose my nerve. If I have money today, I think I can always solve any problem. If I am strong today, I think that no situation will be able to break me. If I have a very clear opinion about something today, it is difficult for me to imagine that one day I could think completely differently.
But the future has no obligation to respect our current version.
The person who says “I will never do that” is speaking from a photograph.
Life, on the other hand, works like a movie, a photograph cannot explain an entire movie. The mind believes that it is the boss of destiny. Perhaps one of our biggest mistakes is thinking that we absolutely decide who we are going to be.
We like to feel like we are in control.
It calms us to think: I know how I would react, That would never happen to me, If I were in your place, I would do this.
But it's very easy to be brave when the problem belongs to someone else.
It is very easy to judge a decision when we do not know the circumstances that produced it. Because there are decisions that, seen from the outside, seem absurd.
Until we have to live them. Then factors appear that we had never considered: fear, need, love, fatigue, responsibility, loneliness, money, children, losses, opportunities, pressure and suddenly what seemed impossible begins to seem understandable. Not necessarily correct but understandable.
The present is not as absolute as we believe, we say “now” as if it were a solid thing. But the present lasts practically nothing. As I finish this sentence, it has already become the past. That means that many of our certainties are built on something that is constantly changing.
Today I am a person, tomorrow I can continue being me, but with an experience that completely changes my way of thinking. That's why I like to think that the present is relative.
Not because the present does not exist, but because its meaning changes when new information appears.
A breakup can seem like the worst moment of our lives and years later become the reason we find another path. An opportunity we turned down may seem insignificant to us until we discover what it would have meant.
A person we do not understand today may become someone tomorrow whose story we finally understand. Time not only changes things, it also changes our interpretation of them.
“I would never” depends on who you are when the time comes, here's the part that makes me think the most.
Maybe we shouldn't say, "I'll never do this," perhaps it would be more honest to say, "With the person I am today, I don't think I would ever do this." It seems like a small difference, but it isn't.
The first sentence tries to control the future, the second recognizes that we do not know it yet, that is much more realistic. Because no one knows how they will react to a situation that they have not yet experienced. We say it looking to the future, but the future still does not know us and we do not know it either.