meyzee
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It does not start with just a simple hello.
It is built by showing up, again and again, until those moments became your ordinary days. That is when I realized how attachment works.
Years ago, when I started my first job hunting, I wasn’t aware that it could be scarier and harder than studying. I had this friend whom I share struggle with during applications. She made applying easy because I do not have to go through it all alone. We spent our days searching for companies, submitting résumés, waiting for replies, and hoping that one of us would eventually get a chance.
I was happy when finally, we were both accepted in the same company. In my mind, I would not be going to work in a place where I did not know everyone else. To be honest we were not even that close during college. Since we worked in the same company and were offered free accommodation, I grew comfortable having her around. Sharing meals daily, late night conversations, travels, night outs, sharing our families struggles and ordinary moments that did not matter to me at that time.
Before I knew it, her presence and the friends we have met became part of my routine. She is dependable and I can say I see her more than just a friend but a sister I can always count on.
But then life happened.
People change jobs.
Eventually, we decided to leave our first job, tried applying again, and were accepted at a separate company. I thought that was okay and we would still be renting together. But then, I feel sad when we sit down and talk after months of renting that it was not practical to rent. She had been offered staff accommodation by her company, and so had I. Financially, it made perfect sense for both of us to accept.
I remember feeling empty in a way I could not explain it. I was so sad that when we move on to pursue our career separately, I left first and did not say goodbye personally. I just left a note saying,
“Hey I have already packed my bags. I took the rice cooker and I left the fan. Ingat ka.”.
For years, I did not know why I had done that, I just know it is easier to leave first than saying goodbye.
Until recently, I finally understood. It was never about saying goodbyes. I was afraid that if I said goodbye, I would also be saying goodbye to the connection, as if everything we had shared would somehow disappear with it.
That’s when I realized what attachment was really like. It’s not about those grand things in life; it’s about those mundane things that you share and build together. You don’t realize how much they have become a part of you until one day, it’s no longer there.
Perhaps that is why parting hurts. It’s the quiet realization that sometimes people could still remain in your life, but not the way how they once existed in your everyday life.
I bet each one of us has a rice cooker of our own.
Years ago, when I started my first job hunting, I wasn’t aware that it could be scarier and harder than studying. I had this friend whom I share struggle with during applications. She made applying easy because I do not have to go through it all alone. We spent our days searching for companies, submitting résumés, waiting for replies, and hoping that one of us would eventually get a chance.
I was happy when finally, we were both accepted in the same company. In my mind, I would not be going to work in a place where I did not know everyone else. To be honest we were not even that close during college. Since we worked in the same company and were offered free accommodation, I grew comfortable having her around. Sharing meals daily, late night conversations, travels, night outs, sharing our families struggles and ordinary moments that did not matter to me at that time.
Before I knew it, her presence and the friends we have met became part of my routine. She is dependable and I can say I see her more than just a friend but a sister I can always count on.
But then life happened.
People change jobs.
Eventually, we decided to leave our first job, tried applying again, and were accepted at a separate company. I thought that was okay and we would still be renting together. But then, I feel sad when we sit down and talk after months of renting that it was not practical to rent. She had been offered staff accommodation by her company, and so had I. Financially, it made perfect sense for both of us to accept.
I remember feeling empty in a way I could not explain it. I was so sad that when we move on to pursue our career separately, I left first and did not say goodbye personally. I just left a note saying,
“Hey I have already packed my bags. I took the rice cooker and I left the fan. Ingat ka.”.
For years, I did not know why I had done that, I just know it is easier to leave first than saying goodbye.
Until recently, I finally understood. It was never about saying goodbyes. I was afraid that if I said goodbye, I would also be saying goodbye to the connection, as if everything we had shared would somehow disappear with it.
That’s when I realized what attachment was really like. It’s not about those grand things in life; it’s about those mundane things that you share and build together. You don’t realize how much they have become a part of you until one day, it’s no longer there.
Perhaps that is why parting hurts. It’s the quiet realization that sometimes people could still remain in your life, but not the way how they once existed in your everyday life.
I bet each one of us has a rice cooker of our own.