Celicy's story



My adult son who is 43 has had a gambling problem on-and-off for over 16 years that I know of. His gambling was a major factor in the breakdown in his first marriage over 6 years ago; then in his next relationship about 2 years ago. Now he is gambling again ... and borrowed several thousand from his current girlfriend. I am not supposed to know about this last episode.

He lost a lot of money in the stock market fall late last year where he had money from his house sale invested ... so he lost all his money. He was extremely depressed and texted his brother threatening suicide. He spoke to his father about this loss saying it all went in shares ... no betting or gambling. He borrowed money from me to get him through Christmas ... then couldn't pay his bills and borrowed more from his father ... that I didn't know. We have been talking to his brother who knows other stuff and has begged his brother to talk to us but he hasn't. Now he has to pay a large sum for excess on his car from an accident and also for the rego.

I can't push him to tell me because of his depression and anxiety ... with the previous threat of suicide in mind. He needs help obviously, his brother has told him this but nothing seems to be happening. I am at my wits end not knowing what to do. If I say something he will stop talking to his brother ... his girlfriend is very angry with him apparently. He owes money to all of us. What should I do? We are in our early 70s and moved to another state, with our second son, for health reasons 2 years ago so he has no immediate family close by now. He is loving son and has a good job but this gambling has to stop – it is ruining his life. How do I help him when I am not supposed to know about this last episode?
Sad story. I hope the best for Celicy and his family. Unfortunatly, there is nothing anyone in or out of that family can do for him, other than stop giving the guy money. He will not attempt to fix his addiction until one of 2 things happens. Either he hits rock bottom and loses everything and everyone. Or, he wins enough to cover everything he has lost (which is most likely why he still gambles), but then will continue gambling to lose it all again.

Sad is the life of a gambler. at times all you have is yourself and your money, with prospects of losing both.
I can understand because it is the desire and wish to make a successful gamble that will help solve all the financial problems that make people to do reckless decisions. Usually ends up making the problem worse. Have to learn from experience the hard way but it does make a person want to work hard to fix the problem...have to get to the truth of the problem and make a plan to salvage the situation. How much is owed and what can be done to create a suitable arrangement from outstanding debts/liabilities. A good plan is necessary in this situation and requires an approach without blame and guilt but an honest desire to help fix the problem. Good Luck and best wishes on your situation.