meyzee
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There are moments when you find yourself wondering what’s wrong, even though you feel okay. You keep refreshing your phone, checking for a notification, or doom scrolling and you saw a movie, perhaps. You see something you would have normally shared, freeze for a moment and then continue scrolling.
Perhaps this is why losing a routine can feel strange. Not because you long for it to happen again, but because you forgot what you usually did during those times when you still owned your time.
But how do you make your time yours again?
I have lived my life changing jobs, jobsite and residences. Over a decade of working, I have learned to feel the moment I spend within each place, because I knew it will be gone once I completed the assigned project to me. From then on, I started to look at everything as something I could enjoy and cherish because those times would not last forever. I would explore each place like I’ll never experience and see it again, instilling every corner in my memory. Sometimes, sitting in the coffee shop on the corner, sipping something, enjoying the people walking around and feeling how busy a place could be.
And yet I thought I’ve already mastered it all. I’ve packed bags, change places, start something new somewhere and eventually created a new routine. I wasn’t afraid of what’s coming instead I look at it as a challenge. But somehow, somewhere this felt something different. It isn’t a new job, or a new place, it’s the disappearance of a routine that occupied by something familiar.
Perhaps the reason why it was different is that it is so sudden, and I wasn’t thinking everything would change. Maybe it’s because I thought I could live like this forever, but then it ended. And for the longest time that you’re fully accustomed to it, you forgot the things you do without it and having a hard time restarting again.
But then, I realized, after feeling all the uncertainties I felt, I don’t need a new routine to keep me occupied. I just need to accept the space and stop there for a bit. I don’t need to rush it over.
Maybe I was just so used to do a restart that I forget that I can also mourn for those times that I have to leave places even though I’ve grown to love it.
I realized, not everything has to be replaced right away.
I can just simply miss it while reclaiming my time again.
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If you like reading my thoughts follow me at https://read.cash/@Meyzee haha I am trying to get back to writing again. And I write just about anything under the sun.
Perhaps this is why losing a routine can feel strange. Not because you long for it to happen again, but because you forgot what you usually did during those times when you still owned your time.
But how do you make your time yours again?
I have lived my life changing jobs, jobsite and residences. Over a decade of working, I have learned to feel the moment I spend within each place, because I knew it will be gone once I completed the assigned project to me. From then on, I started to look at everything as something I could enjoy and cherish because those times would not last forever. I would explore each place like I’ll never experience and see it again, instilling every corner in my memory. Sometimes, sitting in the coffee shop on the corner, sipping something, enjoying the people walking around and feeling how busy a place could be.
And yet I thought I’ve already mastered it all. I’ve packed bags, change places, start something new somewhere and eventually created a new routine. I wasn’t afraid of what’s coming instead I look at it as a challenge. But somehow, somewhere this felt something different. It isn’t a new job, or a new place, it’s the disappearance of a routine that occupied by something familiar.
Perhaps the reason why it was different is that it is so sudden, and I wasn’t thinking everything would change. Maybe it’s because I thought I could live like this forever, but then it ended. And for the longest time that you’re fully accustomed to it, you forgot the things you do without it and having a hard time restarting again.
But then, I realized, after feeling all the uncertainties I felt, I don’t need a new routine to keep me occupied. I just need to accept the space and stop there for a bit. I don’t need to rush it over.
Maybe I was just so used to do a restart that I forget that I can also mourn for those times that I have to leave places even though I’ve grown to love it.
I realized, not everything has to be replaced right away.
I can just simply miss it while reclaiming my time again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you like reading my thoughts follow me at https://read.cash/@Meyzee haha I am trying to get back to writing again. And I write just about anything under the sun.
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