Volatile pessimism in the morning...

Anniegio

Anniegio

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Sometimes you wake up in the morning and think, I can't take it anymore, but then you laugh inside, remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.
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That's what Bukowski said, and I couldn't help but wonder: if he felt the same way I do, then does everyone feel like this at some point?

You wake up in the morning, open your eyes, and there's nothing like gratitude. It's because you know that while you were sleeping, your debts, the broken washing machine, the people who don't like you, the rent increase, your responsibilities, the loves that aren’t, and your existential questions were all on pause. Now that you've opened your eyes, everything reactivates like a big machine.

So, the routine awaits me, and I drag my feet to make coffee. The good thing is that today I have coffee to make, unlike yesterday when I didn't, and I feel the first sting of the day right in my volatile pessimism... today I think maybe I can bear it after all.

I like certainties, so I ask myself, what certainties do I have today? OK, first of all, I know I have to work and that I do it for more than 18 hours a day. Secondly, I am certain that my children depend on my energy. And thirdly, a certainty that helps me comes to mind: yesterday I also thought I wouldn't make it, and yet I did.

Remembering that I managed in even more difficult moments takes away some of this morning mental fog. Even Bukowski must not have expected this twist of positivity just from having coffee and thinking a bit...

If you wake up in Bukowski mode, do this: think. Think that you managed yesterday and the day before, and you will manage tomorrow. There are difficult days, difficult moments, but you got through all of them, because we don't live in a flat life without ups and downs. These things happen, and what matters is what we do with what happens. From experience, I tell you, you have the right to feel like you can't take it anymore and want to throw everything away, but there's no way you will give up...

There's always a reason that inspires you to bear it today as well, and tomorrow maybe, with a bit of luck, you'll wake up simply ready to have coffee and think.

Annie.
 
Anniegio said:
That's what Bukowski said, and I couldn't help but wonder: if he felt the same way I do, then does everyone feel like this at some point?

You wake up in the morning, open your eyes, and there's nothing like gratitude. It's because you know that while you were sleeping, your debts, the broken washing machine, the people who don't like you, the rent increase, your responsibilities, the loves that aren’t, and your existential questions were all on pause. Now that you've opened your eyes, everything reactivates like a big machine.

So, the routine awaits me, and I drag my feet to make coffee. The good thing is that today I have coffee to make, unlike yesterday when I didn't, and I feel the first sting of the day right in my volatile pessimism... today I think maybe I can bear it after all.

I like certainties, so I ask myself, what certainties do I have today? OK, first of all, I know I have to work and that I do it for more than 18 hours a day. Secondly, I am certain that my children depend on my energy. And thirdly, a certainty that helps me comes to mind: yesterday I also thought I wouldn't make it, and yet I did.

Remembering that I managed in even more difficult moments takes away some of this morning mental fog. Even Bukowski must not have expected this twist of positivity just from having coffee and thinking a bit...

If you wake up in Bukowski mode, do this: think. Think that you managed yesterday and the day before, and you will manage tomorrow. There are difficult days, difficult moments, but you got through all of them, because we don't live in a flat life without ups and downs. These things happen, and what matters is what we do with what happens. From experience, I tell you, you have the right to feel like you can't take it anymore and want to throw everything away, but there's no way you will give up...

There's always a reason that inspires you to bear it today as well, and tomorrow maybe, with a bit of luck, you'll wake up simply ready to have coffee and think.

Annie.
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This is so encouraging 👏 thanks sis Annie for this wonderful words ❤️❤️
 
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